Vampire Cat and friends.

All's Fair?

2006-06-12T19:21:00.000-07:00

Today I'm deciding to debate this 'all's fair in love and war' thing and give my opinions on it.

I'm not going into the topic of war much except to say that.. People are going to die in war. There is really no fairness in war, and hence no unfairness as well. War itself is painful, evil, and destructive. In war, pretty much anything goes. One can say they play by the 'rules', by not using bio-weapons, not blowing up churches, etc, but this set of 'rules' is one they follow on their own, by their own sense of 'honour', one that no one else really has to follow.

In love, that phrase usually refers to the 'potong jalan' aspect of love, in which someone comes along and steals your girlfriend/boyfriend. (Listen to that bloody Ashlee Simpson song) While I'm not exactly a fan of all's fair in love and war, I have to agree with it. And while I agree, I also will state now that in no way do I apply this to marriage and anything with that sort of finality.

Marriage is a sacred thing, just like one's virginity. While you can be married a few times, marrying someone states that you will love them for the rest of your life, till death do you part, yadda yadda. You have made that promise, now stick to it. It isn't a promise made in the middle of passionate sex, except where Britney and Whatshisface were concerned, but we aren't popstars.

If you loved someone. And he loved you. But he was dating this other chick or whatever. What would you do? Some people say "No we can't, you have to stay with your girlfriend cause she loves you." And some would be like "If you don't love her, you should break up with her."

Look at it this way.

If you were stuck in a loveless relationship which you didn't quite know how to end, and you fell in love with somebody new, who seemed to love you too, would you stay in the loveless relationship out of obligation, or leave it for the greener grass?

Well for me. If I liked this guy. And say this chick Joanna liked him too. Hell, I'd go for him. I wouldn't hang back and say "Oh I might be taking away her chances with him" and whatnot. If he loves me, why should I give him up for someone he doesn't love?

Maybe it's a bitchy thing to say, or a bitchy attitude to have. But I'm not looking at it from a jaded point of view or whatever. I've had my ex boyfriend taken away from me. And you know what? He wasn't the one for me anyway.

I've also had someone take me away from my ex boyfriend. And what do we realise? Me and my ex, we weren't right for each other anyway.

This phrase has been used over and over, and people still continue to use it. "If it's meant to be, it's meant to be." While I'm not a believer in fate, I do believe that when God closes one door, he opens another. Life doesn't go just one way. And if I believe, I will find happiness, with whoever I choose in the end.

My current relationship (woo 5 months now!) sprung from a crush, which was probably ignited by a relationship that didn't seem to have anything going for me. I was with someone who shared different ideals, different beliefs, and we never seemed to understand each other's viewpoints. It was someone who wasn't a bad guy on his own, but because of our differences, I had become intensely unhappy with him, and vice versa. And I had grown tired of being a different person for him.

I started liking someone new, someone who was passionate about the things I wanted to be passionate about. Who liked the same stuff I did, someone who always made me laugh, someone I could hold a decent conversation with.

I told him I liked him. And he said "That's sweet.. But it's probably just a crush." So days went by, and it seemed as though the feeling was mutual.

I never actually cheated on my boyfriend at the time, though I did go out with this new guy. Eventually my boyfriend and I broke up, and I got together with the guy later.

I suppose retribution could kick me in the ass and he could get taken away by some other chick. And I love him lots. Yes, that would hurt a lot.

But living life the way it's been lately.. I know that there's always some other path where life can take you where you'll still be happy. There'll always be some other person to love, who loves you. I know that.. Life doesn't begin and end with someone.

In the end, it's all good. ;)

Singapore Idol.

2006-04-21T02:49:00.000-07:00

Does anyone besides me think that sometimes, Singapore Idol is just a fucking piece of crap?

Not just because of how the show is hosted but because of the fact that the Singapore population couldn't see talent if it came up and slapped them in the face.

I'm not lamenting the glory of our Idol Taufik, I do think he had a great amount of talent, and thank heavens he won, but I'm lamenting the fact that so many great singers with good showmanship were beaten by people who make me cringe everytime I watch them.

Someone was saying in the Singapore Idol forums a long while back.. Something about the magic of Sly and how he appeals to his audience because he has so much emotion in his singing. Give me a break. He's ugly. He's a freaking ah beng. He screams half the time during his songs (Lol It's my liiiiife) and listening to his diction, one would assume he just stepped off the boat from China.

It pains me to see what singing has been degraded to, especially when pronunciation is such a vital part of it. Half the time I can't tell what the hell he's singing, and it really grating when he decimates Bon Jovi. Ugh.

Why couldn't he join some Mandarin singing competition, instead of SG Idol? I mean honestly, his rabid fans claim "Oh his English isn't good but his Chinese is" I don't fucking care, the fact is that Singapore Idol is predominantly in English except for that one episode where they were singing songs by Asian singers. If you join a breakdancing competition and dance ballet, would the judges say "Oh his ballet is good so let's let him through."

No, right?

You get people like Jerry, Chris, and Sly.. Is this the top 10 singers our country has to offer? Please.

It pains me that there could be so much talent out there, but some of the shit they had in the top 10.. I would've told them to fuck off at the auditions.

To those people who say I shouldn't judge others, the show is judged by the public and I have as much say as anyone. Plus I think I sing better than Sly. Vamp Cat sings better than Sly too. And when we sing, at least you can hear our consonants.

Oh and at the finals the judges weren't allowed to say anything bad for fear that it would influence the public's opinion. Roflmfao.

Isn't that the whole fucking point of the judges? Aren't they supposed to speak their mind? Geez.

Singapore, wake up.

Crazy Shit.

2006-04-11T03:25:00.000-07:00

How often do you do crazy stuff that shocks even you?

I seldom shock myself, but I've been shocking myself quite a bit recently. Well there's a first time for everything, and sometimes there's many first times that happen in a sort of chain of events.

They say that your best friend will be the one sitting in the cell with you, saying "Man, that was fun.." Not so much the best friend analogy here, but the whole "Man, that was fun" thing rocks.

It's not often that I really do something nuts that I never thought I'd do.. Nothing really horrible of course, people, please steer clear of beating up random passerbys.. That is against the law, but you know sometimes just breaking the little rules you never could bring yourself to break? Yeah that's what I'm talking about.

The first time I stayed over at my boyfriend's place, I shocked myself, for one.. Why, because my parents never would've let me. I just decided to tell them I fell asleep. So yeah, I watched him sleep for most of the night while my parents sent several angry messages. My Mom called me and told me she was very disappointed. I got a little worried, but I fell asleep and then woke up next to the person I loved and thought.. Hell, it was worth everything, just being right here.

I'm not a huge rulebreaker.. I push the limits, but I don't usually break them outright.

So sometimes it's cool to just let myself go, and do the things I've always wanted to do.. I always wished I could do.. Or I never imagined I'd do and never even considered doing.

It gives you an exhilaration you've never felt before, when the initial fear is over, when the nervousness has passed, you have a huge grin on your face and you feel like a new person and you can tell yourself, "Hey! I did it!"

It can be anything, the example I gave was pretty tame.. But there's lots of crazier things happening everyday.

So.. What's the craziest thing you've ever done?

Piercings, Tattoos, whatnot.

2006-04-03T20:22:00.000-07:00

I just got my bellybutton pierced yesterday.

I was thinking a whole lot about whether my boyfriend would like it, then I realised.. It doesn't matter. If he loves me for who I am, it wouldn't really matter, would it?

I know he doesn't quite like piercings and tattoos, so it's pretty weird for him having a girlfriend with a tattoo and now a navel piercing, which sorta falls into his idea of wild, I think.

Would've gotten to me, but he didn't make a big deal out of it, and when I thought about it, to hell if anyone did.

If there's one thing I've been doing all my life, it's been shocking people, and one of the things that shocks a person about me is that I am very very different from someone's first impression of me. At first glance, I could be a high maintenance slutty party girl (I'm not sure, maybe o.O) and well.. I'm not high maintenance, or slutty, or a party girl. Lol.

I mean, all I do during my free time is play DotA, I go to church twice a week, I don't smoke, and when it comes to drinking, you'd probably never see me knocking back more than a glass.

I don't fit the RP member profile either, do I? :p

To me, piercings, tattoos, and the way you dress.. It doesn't always say much about who you are. There are people who personify themselves in the clothes they wear and stuff, I'm not one of those people. In the end, all this just changes the way the world looks at you. But it doesn't change what you really are.

So why do some emos have to dress quite so emo to be emo? :\ Doesn't it get tiring putting on all that eyeliner?

Roads.

2006-03-23T00:36:00.000-08:00

How has the most cynical chick I know (ahem, me) turned into a complete idealistic moron? Suddenly I find I've fallen in love, horror of horrors.

I know I'm crazy when I don't care what anyone thinks of him, how deep his feelings are for me (though it's certainly a blessing that he seems to love me too) or if my heart will be broken. Well anything. I hardly bother about the other things in life now.

Forgive me for sounding incredibly mushy, but it really is something else to hardly give a damn about your own feelings so long as the person you love is happy.

Which sorta brings me to the one thing that fucked up all my past relationships.. "Love keeps no record of wrongs." In all my days before, I had dwelled on the things that had made me sad, held dear the mistakes of the people I supposedly loved, clung to the anger left inside.. And it's something we all seem to do.

I can't count the times in arguments with my latest ex, one of us would say something hurtful.. And the reason was, "You can't blame me for saying that.. You hurt me so badly."

What gives us this 'right' to hurt someone in return.. Yes, retaliation is a reflex instinct, but the last person you should retaliate against so painfully would be someone you supposedly love. I remember times when we put off changing our bad points because the significant other had faltered somehow in showing their care for us..

And I can't say I don't get angry and sometimes say things I wish I hadn't, but I try not to let it happen again, and I apologise for it, rather than defending my stand with a weak "You can't blame me, it was your fault."

I've started to feel and believe.. That in a relationship, there shouldn't be a 'fault'.. There shouldn't be that someone was wrong in the first place, and the other should be allowed to hurt him/her for it.. For in doing that you aren't resolving the problem, you're making it worse.

There is no fault, there is only right and wrong. Sure, it may have been his fault in the first place, but am I doing wrong now?

Forgiveness is not merely a virtue.. It is a gift to yourself, and to the person who wronged you. For in forgiving, you're letting yourself go, and allowing yourself to move on and be happier, rather than holding on to unnecessary pain in your heart.

Hopefully that flowed right. Had to find someplace to rant.

Tammy, RP, and a lil bit of me.

2006-03-03T23:14:00.000-08:00

Tammy Tammy quite contrary
How does your fanbase grow?
With ecstatic moans and video phones
And multiple orgasms all in a row.

Excuse my mocking of the story of the year.

Horror of horrors, honestly who would be that silly? Though I somewhat feel sorry for Tammy, it doesn't change the fact that she really is a moron, and quite a slutty one at that.

Then again, I don't particularly gloat over her misfortunes like the people who gleefully download all 4 of the supposed videos. I've been asked the question time and time again. "Have you seen the NYP video?" to which I give the same answer.

Why do I want to spend my time rejoicing in someone else's misfortune?

Perhaps that's why I hardly post on Retard Patrol. It seems that sometimes I find someone quite lianish/bengish, but something about her makes me feel kinda sorry for the poor sod, so I lay off fucking up his life.

Most of the readers here happen to be avid RP fans and won't take kindly to these remarks. I do admit I love reading the RP, and I often laughed at most of the people there.. But I can't seem to find someone so disgustingly hateful to write about. Either that or I'm just becoming a nicer person lately. Hah.

It was fun at the beginning, honestly. And it really is fun if you're the one reading it. But sometimes we have better things to do with our lives, to the point where.. The fucking bengs and lians REALLY aren't worth giving up all the things we love to do. How long does it take to read an RP post? 5 minutes? How long does it take to write one.. I haven't gotten that far.. But it takes forever just sourcing for retards.

At this point I'd rather write here about things that seem to matter more in the bigger scheme of things, rather than looking through Friendster for someone's retarded profile to flame.

So forgive me for never posting before, and possibly never posting at all. Call me a prude if you must, I don't care.

Life, as I see it.

2006-01-17T20:45:00.000-08:00

Hah. So much for joining the RP, and then hardly posting. Honestly it's hard to come up with good material.. I keep finding people who are just half-retarded and there doesn't seem to be much of a kick in writing about them.. Like I'll get started and halfway I'm like "Oh damn, he/she's not that interestingly stupid."

Life has been sort of a rollercoaster as of late. Relationships can do that to you.. Whether you're coming out of one or getting into one, and I've done both in the past one and a half months.

Bleh.

What I'd like to comment on is fake lesbians. The kind that go for butches. What is the point in going for a fake guy? If I was les I'd go for a full blown chick, with boobs, legs to die for, etc. Why go for a guy without a dick? It makes no sense.

You can't really call yourself a les if you go for a fake guy, right? You can't call yourself straight OR les, for that matter.. you're this shit stuck in between two labels.

Being from an IJ school, I've seen so many 'lesbians' it made me so sick of all of their shit.. I don't mind AS much a real les, but really, all that stuff was peer pressure, and when being a les is cool, something's honestly wrong.

Especially the "I hate guys cause one broke my heart, so now I'll be les" mentality. What the hell? Girls can break your heart just as much as guys can, girls can hurt, girls can beat you, girls can rape you, girls can force themselves on you, it doesn't mean only someone with a penis can hurt.

All girls schools should become co ed, honestly.

Quick update.

2006-01-04T09:32:00.000-08:00

The amazingly handsome Vampire Cat here. Main RP page has the link to this blog up. Will try and do this piece of shit layout up when I get the time. Onward ho.

Sure you guys noticed that I haven't been blogging on the RP much. To be honest, I was bogged down with other things. It's kinda hard to get inspiration out of the blue sometimes.

Read Xiaxue for the first in ages. That big flashy thingy with snow flakes and shit is seriously beyond the measure of good taste. Then again, the woman wears blusher indoors in order to cam-whore around. *shrugs* And the foreign worker thing? Fuck la, just call them banglas. Let's face it... NOBODY likes banglas. They smell like rancid sweat, they molest chicks, and they're always holding hands. Go ahead and call me a racist or what, but I'm just saying what everyone thinks.

Okay, I've got a giant cramp in my wrist so I'll stop now. New RP update should come this weekend tentatively. Cat out.

Firsties.

2006-01-03T16:58:00.000-08:00

Hello, you probably got here from my main blog, the Retard Patrol. Well this is nothing like it. Why did I create this blog, you ask? Well... very often I feel the need to talk or complain about something that doesn't really fit into what we're doing at the RP. On this blog, I'll have the freedom to bitch and complain about everything and I can put down my thoughts without having to cram an insult in every 2 sentences and watch my grammar and spelling.

This may only be a temporary thing, because I'm still not sure if it's a good idea, but I guess I have to try it out before I'll know. Another good thing about this is that at least you guys will have something to read while waiting for my abyssmally-lazy RP team's infrequent posts.

I'll do a proper lay-out soon if the idea works out, but for now... it's just this because I am too fucking tired to do anything. I can't even bend my neck because its so damn stiff from the lack of sleep.

You've probably figured out the direction this blog will take by now. It's gonna be about me... me... me... the rest of the team occasionally... me... oh, and me. Yippee-kiyay, motherfuckers.